the “i don’t think i know how to be a girl” part is so so real, it honestly shocked me to see it mentioned. when you’re a fat woman, you almost get treated as a third gender- you’re not a man of course, but you’re also not a woman, because being fat in and of itself contradicts the idea of womanhood. womanhood is delicate, mindful, deliberate, beautiful, and any struggles are shared amongst women as a group. fatness is (supposedly) clumsy, out of control, lazy, ugly, unintelligent, and any struggles are a consequence of individual failure. fat women often feel pressure to perform femininity to a higher standard than our thin peers (thin women can be “lazy cute,” thin women can lie on the couch and eat pizza and watch Netflix, but a fat woman with an oversized T-shirt and messy bun will receive criticism for “not caring” about her appearance). i have struggled with this for my entire life, and i continue to struggle. i just cried to my boyfriend about this a few nights ago because i still feel more comfortable going to male-dominated power lifting gyms than a mixed-gender Planet Fitness. thanks for representing this struggle, this is the best webcomic ever and i can’t wait to get my Vol. 1 copy in the mail!
It’s real even if you’re not fat. I’m female, but never felt “like a girl” because all the “feminine” irrelevancies like makeup, heels, etc. were (still are) distasteful to me. And people will give you crap about that, too. These characters are so real.
This person is commenting on a page of a comic where the focus is on the demeaning ways fat girls specifically are treated/were treated in the early 2000s and how that impacts the character on that page. Try to be less tone deaf.
hey, just wanted to say thank you for saying that (i’m OP of that longass comment). fat women are constantly spoken over and it sucks when we talk about our specific problems only to have them generalized as “well ALL women experience that! that’s not a fatphobia issue, that’s a misogyny issue!” as if there’s not an extremely obvious interlocking relationship between the two that creates its own distinct experience of suffering under both. you’re a real one :’)
Maybe because obviously you aren’t the only one experiencing that. “Our special problems” lol
Newsflash: you aren’t that special.
People relating to your issue does not take away from your issue – it just illustrates that we are all human and we may be subjected to the same absue and problems no matter our size, skin color, gender, sexuality, disability etc.
Sorry about the weird responses your original comment generated, anonymous. You described a very, very specific scenario that does not apply to thin women, and that /this comic/ that we’re all reading is commenting on. People can commiserate and empathize without trying to claim that everyone experiences the world in the exact same way, and that similar problems = identical problems.
Poor Beth. I don’t share her exact struggles, but I share the struggle of being haunted late at night by every little comment that cuts you down or makes you question yourself. Emotional death of a thousand cuts.
This is so rough. There’s a parallel between Beth’s body and this house: the judgment people pass on her weight and the emotional abuse from Mom/possibly others leave her feeling painfully vulnerable where she should feel most at home.
By contrast, I don’t think she’s ever looked so comfortable in herself as she did during her experience with Jeordie. I love that, not least because most portrayals of teenage sex emphasize self-consciousness, guilt, social expectations, etc. Much as that’s true to life for many people, it’s rare to see any acknowledgement that teenage encounters can be primarily “about” feelings of safety and trust.
i just binged this all and i cannot believe how good this is
the “i don’t think i know how to be a girl” part is so so real, it honestly shocked me to see it mentioned. when you’re a fat woman, you almost get treated as a third gender- you’re not a man of course, but you’re also not a woman, because being fat in and of itself contradicts the idea of womanhood. womanhood is delicate, mindful, deliberate, beautiful, and any struggles are shared amongst women as a group. fatness is (supposedly) clumsy, out of control, lazy, ugly, unintelligent, and any struggles are a consequence of individual failure. fat women often feel pressure to perform femininity to a higher standard than our thin peers (thin women can be “lazy cute,” thin women can lie on the couch and eat pizza and watch Netflix, but a fat woman with an oversized T-shirt and messy bun will receive criticism for “not caring” about her appearance). i have struggled with this for my entire life, and i continue to struggle. i just cried to my boyfriend about this a few nights ago because i still feel more comfortable going to male-dominated power lifting gyms than a mixed-gender Planet Fitness. thanks for representing this struggle, this is the best webcomic ever and i can’t wait to get my Vol. 1 copy in the mail!
It’s real even if you’re not fat. I’m female, but never felt “like a girl” because all the “feminine” irrelevancies like makeup, heels, etc. were (still are) distasteful to me. And people will give you crap about that, too. These characters are so real.
This person is commenting on a page of a comic where the focus is on the demeaning ways fat girls specifically are treated/were treated in the early 2000s and how that impacts the character on that page. Try to be less tone deaf.
Heh, proving her point that people will give you crap no matter what you do…
Obvs, I shouldn’t be commenting, as I’m a thin old dude. Sorry.
try to be less self-righteous
hey, just wanted to say thank you for saying that (i’m OP of that longass comment). fat women are constantly spoken over and it sucks when we talk about our specific problems only to have them generalized as “well ALL women experience that! that’s not a fatphobia issue, that’s a misogyny issue!” as if there’s not an extremely obvious interlocking relationship between the two that creates its own distinct experience of suffering under both. you’re a real one :’)
Maybe because obviously you aren’t the only one experiencing that. “Our special problems” lol
Newsflash: you aren’t that special.
People relating to your issue does not take away from your issue – it just illustrates that we are all human and we may be subjected to the same absue and problems no matter our size, skin color, gender, sexuality, disability etc.
Sorry about the weird responses your original comment generated, anonymous. You described a very, very specific scenario that does not apply to thin women, and that /this comic/ that we’re all reading is commenting on. People can commiserate and empathize without trying to claim that everyone experiences the world in the exact same way, and that similar problems = identical problems.
Poor Beth. I don’t share her exact struggles, but I share the struggle of being haunted late at night by every little comment that cuts you down or makes you question yourself. Emotional death of a thousand cuts.
This is so rough. There’s a parallel between Beth’s body and this house: the judgment people pass on her weight and the emotional abuse from Mom/possibly others leave her feeling painfully vulnerable where she should feel most at home.
By contrast, I don’t think she’s ever looked so comfortable in herself as she did during her experience with Jeordie. I love that, not least because most portrayals of teenage sex emphasize self-consciousness, guilt, social expectations, etc. Much as that’s true to life for many people, it’s rare to see any acknowledgement that teenage encounters can be primarily “about” feelings of safety and trust.
MY POOR BABY